NPC Thursdays: Silent Joe

“The Smartest Man in the Room”

Darvin shuffled up the steps through the crowded streets and the even more crowded entrance of the Vomiting Dragon; the most notorious shit bar in all of the City of Borel. Located between the Merchant district and both the Sea Port and Air Ship ports in the rancid Green Door District. Here among the poor refugees from the Narrisian front and the starving artist neighborhoods , this is where many of the “Adventurers” would come to meet. Mercenaries, Thieves, Spell Slingers, and Priests of Obscure Gods come to exchange information, make pacts, and group for journeys both of legend and profit. They also come to shit faced dead kobold drunk….

SO among the heavily armored beer drenched warriors, and the scheming sideways glancing rogues, Darvin made his way to the bar. There, working as blur, serving various concoctions that crossed from the 10 known continents, a tall Half Elven girl made her living. All around her people shouted their orders, he only acknowledgement to any of them was a slight nod, or an annoyed glance. Darvin , pushing in, waited till her eyes landed somewhere near him to shout his question. Passing her eyes over him twice, she finally figured he had something to ask. Putting two large mugs of Kaliant Dwarven Lager next to Darvin, where a Grey Half Giant with a huge axe strapped to him and a small Halfing in leather armor, clashed glasses.

Startled for a second tried to mouth the words, trying to find the Volume to speak over the crowd to the Half-elf Bartender
Darvin finally got the volume he needed and bellowed over the over the swells of people at the bar
A slender man with fire for eyes standing next to Darvin quipped
“And I’m looking for a drink!”
Raucous laughter followed the crappy joke and Darvin could only rolls his eyes at the idiocy of the drunken crowd. The bartender finally answered as she took a small mammalian brain and dropped into a glass filled with Narrisian Vodka and Elven Cherry wine and hand it to a Squid faced customer in purple robes.
“The back beer garden, by the well!”

Darvin gave his thanks in a couple silver pieces and made his through the crowd into the back. Here in this raucous tavern you could find all types of races and species from the 3 corners of Essidarius, all in one place. One booth had a fair skinned man with a golden glowing hair and large feathered wings surrounded by various women of different races, cooing after his every word. In another corner, a Dwarf stood on his chair, covered in coal, furs, and armor leading a loud chorus of other like-covered dwarf’s in a rendition of the Gromun National Anthem over large steins of frothy stout ales, to the chagrin of a Troll couple sitting to one side. As Darvin reached the back double doors leading to the large open air beer garden in the back, 2 Poonk Half Sylphs smiled at him, their eyes glowing blue against their red dyed hair and leather cross stitched out fits that advertised all types of Anarchy.

Outside the cold air could be felt again and they heavy odor of pipe smoke and rolled cigarette met up with the sweat and wet dog smells of many of adventurers. Darvin looked around for Joe, suspecting that the bartender may have led him out here just to get rid of him. Glancing around he saw a group of centaurs arguing about various political point with some large southern Riptaurs, a human girl draped in purple and black monitoring in the middle. Shadowing the majority of the crowd was a large Stone giant who was drinking from a barrel, a cluster ofhalfling acrobats spun around him singing songs as he drank, only able to hum along. Darvin saw the classic scene here now: A shadowy cloaked figure talking to group of adventurers, probably trying to get them to bite on some ridiculously dangerous adventure, all the while promising riches and rewards.

They’re never was shortage of idiots in Borel.

Darvin finally saw the man he looking for, leaning to one side of large oak in the back, he seemed catatonic, looking towards the floor the whole time Darvin walked up.

“Silent Joe?”
Joe was raggedy young man, made up of various strips of leather armor and clothes. He glanced up at Darvin quickly only to nod at him while starting now to pace. Darvin looked at the man incredulously and started to wonder if he had been sent here as a joke.
“You’re Joe then, huh?”
He stopped his pacing and Joe looked up at Darvin, now with a bit of impatience in his eyes, seen through the curls of hair in his face.
“Yeah geez sorry” Darvin said, ” Look I don’t know if they told you already but I’m here for some information and such?”
A long pause as Joe looked on at Darvin and then his eyes and nodded in agreement with Darvin.
“So then you know what I need to know, right?”
Long pause and nod
“Well then…?”
Joe looks around for a second, checking the crowd for any onlookers and a proceeds to dig a piece of wood out of the trash that was scattered around the floor. He hold it to Darvin.
“What? What the fuck do i do with that?”
Joe shakes it again, signalling Darvin to grab it. He takes it from Joe impatiently and looks at it, cursing in his native Zurgi tongue as he looks at small broken plank.
Darvin eyes widened.
“Are you fucking sure!?!?!”
Joe let him himself a small smile.
“Holy shit” Darvin said, looking at Joe in disbelief “So this is how Grommel is getting his supply of MageWrought Cockatrice eggs into the city?!? An embassy ship? Oh, man, you know how many embargoes he’s breaking just trying that! Hah, with this info, fuck beating him in the market, I could fucking close him down!”
Joe now was tapping his foot at Darvin as if waiting.
“Oh shit, yeah sorry, about that”
A Heavy bag of gold was produced from a sleeve and handed to Joe. Joe looked in, weight it with his pinky, and soon it was gone amongst his leather facade.
“Worth every penny my friend, worth every penny” as Darvin is walking away, he stops and turns to Joe, who is back to leaning and looking down on the floor
“One question thought,” Darvin said, his eyebrows in bemused suspicion, “how did you know?”
Joe look up at him, smiles and puts his hand in his jacket, routing around looking for something. Darvins face lit up in curiosity at what he might pull out, maybe a magical artifact of some sort with incredible divination abilities used by ancient…
Joe was now giving Darvin the finger with a grin.
“Real funny, Joe” Darvin said now walking off, “Keep your secrets for now, but remember to sell them to me!”
Joe watched him leave the bar through the crowd and went back to his tree to lean and think, silently.

Notes: Silent Joe is one of the better information men in all of Borel and he has a basic secret to his success; he doesn’t give away anything. Born mute, Joe grew up in the Green Door Neighborhood, one of the many orphans after the horror of the Falling Blade. Always withdrawn he sat on outskirts of society with the only way of entertaining himself was to listen. Nobody paid no mind to Joe, thinking he was damaged goods in some way and spoke freely around him. He soon picked up on many secrets this way and never let them go, not without a price. Soon he was protected from Bullies, given food by shopkeepers, even given a home in Vomiting Dragon, all with the information he could innocuously pick up.

Joe can easily be used as an informant in your campaign, being able to lead PCs in new directions or if approached by the PCs, be helpful to them to find new ones. He does have a price for various info and it can range form a meal or shoes to gems or magic items, but Joe will also retain the right to reserve a favor with the PCs as he does with every one else. it’s bee know that Joe is one of the most protected men in the city, if only for what he knows, and that if attacked at least 2-3 people would defend in an instance.

Neutral Good male human Com2/Rog2
CR 3; Size M (5 ft., 11 in. tall);
HD 2d4+2 + 2d6+2; hp 17
Init +8 (+4 Dex, +4 Improved Initiative)
Spd 30 ft.; AC 14 (+4 Dex)
Attack +6 melee, or +6 ranged
SV Fort +3, Ref +7, Will +5
Str 18, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 17, Wis 17, Cha 12.

Languages Spoken: Aquan, Auran, Common, Orc.

Skills: Appraise +7, Bluff +6, Craft (Blacksmithing) +7, Gather Information +10, Disguise +3, Forgery +8, Hide +9, Jump +6, Listen +8, Move Silently +4, Spot +9; (Skill points: Com 30) Rog 24
Feats:[Evasion], Skill focus (Gather Information), Improved Initiative, All Ears

Possessions:+1 heavy crossbow, MW punching dagger, 21 MW bolt(s), MW quarterstaff, +1 chain shirt, `Ring – Protection +1, Potion of Charisma, Potion of Ghoul Touch, Antitoxin (vial), 53gp.

Now playing: Cab Calloway – Nobody’s Sweetheart
via FoxyTunes


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